I don't know if there will ever be a time that you will stop asking for more. 

I reached my 2year old mark at my current job and I've decided it's time to turn a corner and change directions. To where I'm going I'm not really sure yet. I'm young, single, (crazy), I can do whatever I want right? Nevertheless, even if you have read a thousand success stories, the concept of failure can still linger inside no matter how many times you want to shake it off your system. 

In my current job, everyday I meet someone new and I almost categorize them into two types: People I want to become and I don't want to become. 

There are very few offices that I walk into and see that the people are happy working there. I guess getting rich is easier than being respected.  

It's 2am in the morning and I simply can't sleep. For the past few days, my fingers have been itching to type and unload my brain from all its (decaying) overwhelming ideas. I simply can't stay still for more than 10 minutes when I'm a wake. At the back of my mind, a task needs to be finished, a deadline has to be completed, a commitment should be fulfilled, a follow-up has to be done. Idleness is just not my friend these days. It makes me feel lost. It's just too disturbing.

At some point, I reach my limit and from time to time ask myself if all the stress is worth it? Somehow my boss answered that for me this morning, if it gives you peace, then all the trouble and the worry is worth it. 

All the stress reminds me of the story of Socrates being a "fly". -->  Don't ask me why. I'm still trying to figure out the connection. (A part of me wants to do it the obama way and just swat all the "pests" dead till they cringe and be silent on the floor) Seriously though, maybe it's just how the universe is telling me not to be complacent.

***

I found a new "hobby" over the past month. It's a very expensive one, but I don't regret any single centavo spent. They say digital  photography is a form of instant self gratification. You click click click, listen to the sweet shutter and surprise yourself with a great shot. You end up happy, contented.

In photography class, they taught us that art is never random, it's always intentional. Then again, the  beauty of this is that the photographer doesn't really  get the perfect shot.. it just gets him. And why is that? I'm not really sure, but digging deeper here's my take on it. Somehow, the pictures made my faith alive again. It's beautiful, unexplainable, simply because it's God's work. Every picture taken is an artist's prayer, let it be the one that I'm aiming for... creating a universal message that transcends boundaries of age, race, gender. Now that's how God speaks isn't it?

***

Time to sleep. Hopefully more stories (and pictures!) about day to day activities. I believe my life is reality tv material.

My 25 random things as tagged by people in facebook and lj friends:

1. I love driving I loved it even more now that I drive a manual car.

2. Whenever I cry I suddenly smell or my brain sends signals that remind me of a pickled chicken dish. I think that was our ulam for lunch when one time my mom got angry about something and I tried to hold back tears while eating pickled chicken. Ugh I really don't like that dish.

3. I was recently forced to sing in public. I don't sing so I ended up choosing Andrew E's Humanap Ka Ng Panget in the videoke.

4. I'm not high maintenance. But it takes me forever to get dressed and to fix myself. I guess I'm just slow and fickle minded haha.

5. On a date, I sometimes get stressed ordering food when the guy wants to pay for the meal and I'm super hungry. I'd rather pay for my share because I really eat a lot pag gutom!

6. I always sleep on one side of the bed. I don't like sleeping in the middle.

7. Back in the day when there was no cable, I would go to my lola's house in the afternoon to read liwayway magazine! Haha. Classic pinoy stuff!

8. Once upon a time, I thought the skyway was a shortcut to c5.

9. I haven't been to enchanted kingdom. Nor have I watched a movie in greenbelt (that is so weird noh?)

10. I tried to learn how to play the piano, no success at that.

11. I already had more than 10 dogs, but they all died after a few months. Haha! I'm so scared to own one now I'm sticking to a virtual pet this time.

12. When I was in grade 5, I tried to learn computer programing, my dad bought me tutorial CDs on c++?? Haha. I don't know why I lost interest.

13. I really enjoyed dissecting the frog back in high school! I want to do it again!

14. It was Kate Hudson and the full house girl's fault, that's why I curled my hair.

15. I started selling stuff when I was 7 yrs old. I sold my mom's chocolates to my classmates and faculty members even though it was bawal. Haha!

16. My dad bought me all the cassette tapes of Code Red! I think he got carried away with the promos, it came with a code red bag! Haha!

17. I once gave an mmda officer mcdo coupons dahil wala na kong pera (I think may 100 naman na kasama yun or was it 20 pesos?)

18. There's a river is a few meters away from our backyard.

19. I once rode the ferry going to divisoria. The trip on the way, I had to endure ray Valera classics while random ferry people sing in chorus onthe way back mas sosyal, they played the pussycat dolls concert for 500x paulit ulit.

20. Giselle's former house help is now an author of 2 pinoy romance novels (sorry giselle, this is your random fact but it's just so cool to share! Buti pa si ate may napublish na libro!!) haha. I want to be an author of something din.

21. There was a time I didn't eat chocolates for months, after that I could only eat so much. I don't like finishing a bar at one sitting.

22. I can't sleep if I didn't drink a glass of water and pee right after drinking.

23. One thing I miss about school is carrying a backpack and buying senseless school supplies! National bookstore is heaven for me!

24. I love breakfast places. Flapjacks!

25. My middle name and last name are the same.

Crap load of things happened in 2008. But why not focus on good things this time around?
( Read more... )

I'm feeling ambitious at the moment. This must be an adverse effect of bumming or too much sleep.

For 2009, I want to:

1. Be more financially savvy.

2. Hit my quota and take things more seriously.

3. Start and manage my own small business on the side.

4. Decide on what course I want to take for graduate studies.

5. Travel - Domestic list would include Cam sur, sagada or bora. International list would include US and Singapore. (Lord, please)

6. Study make-up. (kikay, i'm inspired) 

7. Study photography (or another language)

8. Be free from breakouts.

9. Buy a new phone with a decent camera.

10. Go out with.. (Mr. gg) Haha or whoever. Chill na lang muna. 

PS. I want to do the 2009 365 challenge! 3 more days to think about that.

and I still don't have an idea what to do for next week.

Gangness, please reserve saturday night for me. I'm hoping everyone will be in manila by then.

Oh wow. It feels like I'm in high school again. Hahahaha. ^_^

Christmas this year is much more quiet than the previous years, and I'm not complaining.

December 24th this year marked my parent's 25th wedding anniversary. So 25 years ago, the scene was like this: Wedding reception = noche buena. Tipid! Haha. Seriously, it's actually a very practical idea. 

I'm feeling a bit anxious about the long vacation ahead. I really hate being idle. This december only proved that I will keep myself busy and stressed even if it means getting sick as long as I'm not idle. I'd rather be sick and stressed out than to be quiet in some corner.

Things to do:

1. Clean the car - as in wash and vacuum the inside
2. Clean my room  - Garage sale anyone?
3. Read Malcolm Gladwell's new book. - I asked my dad if this could be my birthday present.. he said yes. and I added Money Sense and Real Living. Hee Hee. Sorry daddy!  >.< I'm too kuripot to spend my money on magazines I really want to buy. But hey, the bill is less than a thousand bucks!

PS. Lakers won. For what it's worth, I saw the last 59 seconds of the game and Kobe's interview. So yeah, I'm one happy fan.

I can't believe I'm feeling sick.  Nooo this can't be happening with Christmas just around the corner.

Kasalanan to ng pagiging masipag and not consuming paid leaves. (Because what's the difference? People will still call me up and ask me to do things and saying that you're on vacation is really not an acceptable nswer)

So to burn the holiday calories, I went to the city hall of pasig and walked 12 flights of stairs going up and 8 flights of stairs going down. Kaya eto nagkasakit. Boo.

***

All I want for Christmas is a red moleskin 2009 daily planner. 
 
Wah. I'm so broke from buying shoes. >.<
 
***

I went to my first simbang gabi last night @ gesu. Yes, first time... i love jesuit masses. Just what i needed, i think.

2008 was simply a blah when I look at my old posts. I just hope 2009 would have more post-worthy events ^_^

( 2008 in review )

I need some long sleeping time... but I don't think I'll be getting that until thursday. My schedule is so messed up.

I'll update you guys after all the hooplah. I've been itching to write some entertaining blog entry for the past couple of days but no time to do so.

I blame Greek for that, and my super screwed up brain for wanting to do lots of stuff all at the same time.

PS. I need more moolah this Christmas! Wah!